*
Click on the ‘Play’ button above to hear the song and read the lyrics below. If the player doesn’t start straight away, wait and then press the ‘Play’ button again.
*
When I Count To Ten is from the album Rockabilly Boys & Girls, an original album of 10 Rockabilly songs written, produced and with lyrics by Paul Robert Thomas with music exclusively commercially licensed to Paul.
*
You can read Paul’s latest music magazine interview HERE
*
You can read the just published music magazine’s review of Rockabilly Boys & Girls HERE
*
‘This is a brilliant comedic rockabilly track! It perfectly taps into the classic “morning-after-the-night-before” trope, channeling the frantic, humorous storytelling found in mid-century novelty rock ’n’ roll and psychobilly tracks (think of Jerry Reed’s wild stories or the frantic energy of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins)’.
“When I Count To Ten” is a fast-paced, comedic rockabilly track that captures the hilarious panic, confusion, and eventual resignation of waking up with a hangover next to a total stranger. The song utilizes a frantic counting gimmick to mirror the narrator’s desperate attempts to wish away his reality, before delivering a classic twist ending. It is frantic, witty, and deeply charming. It’s a theatrical, high-energy storytelling song that perfectly balances self-deprecating humor with a classic, feel-good rockabilly redemption arc.
The song kicks off in the nmidst of things with the narrator waking up intoxicated, swearing, and trapped in the ultimate morning-after nightmare. He has absolutely no memory of who the person next to him is, wildly guessing they might have crossed paths at a “crazy drunk fancy dress ball.”
The driving hook of the track is the superstitious, frantic ritual of closing his eyes and counting to ten. The narrator uses this childish trick hoping that when he opens his eyes, the stranger will magically vanish. The repetitive chorus (“I count to ten / And count again… They still remain”) brilliantly captures the mounting, numb panic as the trick fails over and over.
The tension breaks when the stranger finally wakes up and mumbles. In a sharp comedic contrast to the preceding panic, the awkward reality sets in. The high-stakes fear dissolves into a completely mundane, polite exchange of names that sends the narrator stumbling.
In a fantastic rock ‘n’ roll twist, the narrator’s horror completely reverses the moment breakfast is introduced. As she makes him scrambled eggs, he suddenly notices she has “a decent pair of legs.” Shrugging at the sheer absurdity of life, his panic turns to immediate optimism, casually concluding that this total stranger might actually end up being his second wife.
*
When I Count To Ten lyrics
Woke up drunk next to some strange person
Jumped outta bed a-swearing and a-cursing
Closed my eyes hoping they’d go away
I prayed they’d leave and they won’t wanna stay
And then and then and then and then
I count to ten
And count again
And count again
But they still remain
Where did I meet them I can’t recall?
Maybe at some crazy drunk fancy dress ball?
But that ain’t no mask upon their face
I’d rather be dead it’s such a disgrace
But then but then but then but then
I count to ten
And count again
And count again
They still remain
Close your eyes and count to ten and then more
Open them again and try to ignore
What sticks out in your bed like a sore thumb
And makes your whole body shake and feel numb
And when and when and when and when
You count to ten
And count again
And count again
They still remain
Opens her mouth and makes a mumble
It kinda shocked me and made me a-stumble
I asked her for her name and she gave it
She asked me for mine and I gave it
So when so when so when so when
I count to ten
And count again
And count again
They still remain
I let her make me some scrabbled eggs
Actually she’s got a decent pair of legs
You know there’s nothing as strange as life
She could end up as my new second wife
Paul Robert Thomas PRS No. 497904008 (London)
PRS Tunecode: 015958MC ISWC: T-340.632.979-7
Audiosparx Catalogue ID: 1416448 ISRC: US5UL2643876
from Rockabilly Boys & Girls, released May 17, 2026
Written, produced and with lyrics by Paul Robert Thomas with music exclusively commercially licensed to Paul.
all rights reserved
No comments